So, I haven’t always been eating great lately (but, oh, that bacon cheese burger, onion rings, and vanilla malt were SO GOOD and SO WORTH IT), I maybe haven’t been meditating as often as I meant to, but I have been getting out in nature pretty regularly.  That always helps me a lot.  I still remember being all teenage angsty in high school and having my adolescent misery temporarily lifted by lying on the grass and looking up at tree branches.  I really think I should have been born in Vermont instead of Los Angeles.

I’m lucky to live near a lot of green space now, so nature is very accessible.  Last week, I saw a woodpecker, a bunch of goslings, a rabbit, a family of turtles, and a huge white carp at my neighborhood pond.  I know I sound like a dork – or a 5 year-old – but I get excited about my sitings.  Maybe that’s because in the neighborhood where I grew up, there weren’t normally more than possums and sparrows around.

I’ve been snapping photos of our surroundings with the vague plan of making a collage for my future kid/kids (funny how you have to mentally add that possible plural when you’re doing IVF).  Since I’ve been doing IVF for over a year, these photos show our neighborhood and the pond in all seasons.  I’ve also captured little glimpses of our life and our home.  It’s all the stuff that’s given me comfort while I’ve been waiting for said kid/kids to show up.  The side effect is that I do end up noticing little random bits of beauty around me.

That reminds me of a project I came upon online once.  You create a scrapbook just of a week in your life.  Basically, you take photos of mundane things in your week – your breakfast, your feet when you get out of bed, your cutting board when you’re cooking dinner.  I really liked the idea.  I can see how that would be a good distraction during a tough time.

So, the third photo here shows the family of turtles.  You can’t see it very well, but one of the turtles has a baby turtle on its back.  I decided that was a good luck siting.  I’m nothing if not superstitious.  I’ve collected quite a few fertility talismans over the years.  You gotta cover your bases, right?  It just makes me feel better…

On the same walk I saw this total character.  I wish I’d gotten a better picture of him.  He’s settled in with his fishing gear and is sporting a long gray beard, knit cap, raincoat, and camo pants.  Next to him is an almost empty bottle of apple juice.  I’m pretty sure this guy isn’t drinking apple juice, though.  He seems much more the type of guy to plan ahead for bathroom breaks.  Maybe that’s just me, though.  Anyway, I got a kick out of him.

I’m leaving you all with a gosling photo.  It seems like the geese have their babies before the ducks do.  Maybe some of us are just like the ducks.

– Patience

Advertisements