I’d love people’s input on this dilemma.  When I do my next cycle, I have an opportunity to participate in a study about the environmental effects on fertility.  They’ll measure the levels of different toxins (lead, PBAs, and Phthalates,  among others) that are present in my follicular fluid.  On the one hand, I’m thinking that it’d be good to investigate whatever we can, since we have unexplained low fertilization rates and we’re on IVF #4. On the other hand, I’m wondering if doing this study might just generate upsetting information that I wouldn’t be able to DO anything about.  If I found out that I have a high level of phthalates or PBAs in my system, what could I do about it now?  Could I clean it out of my system quickly enough to make any difference?  I already have switched to natural cleaners, and try to buy as many paraben-free beauty products as possible.  I don’t want to unnecessarily dredge up something new to worry and be anxious about, so I’m really torn about this.

The thing is, I found out during pre-conception genetic testing that I have TWO cystic fibrosis genes, but I test negative on the physical test, which means I technically don’t actually have the disease and my health is just fine.  That means that my body is functioning the way it should, even though I have two mutations. Finding that out, though, caused me a HUGE amount of pain and worry.  Months of crying and internet research as I tried to understand what the lab results meant.  It suddenly (and unnecessarily and erroneously) occurred to me that I was destined to not live a long and healthy life.  I was devastated.  Of course, it’s good that we knew to test my husband, who’s negative for any CF mutations.  But in the end, doing that test did nothing more than cause me an enormous amount of pain and make me feel ill and defective – not a great thing to happen just as I was realizing we were having problems conceiving.  I don’t want to feel that way again.

So, I’d be grateful for any input people have.  Is there a chance I could find out something useful that I could do something about?  What would you do???  Thanks!

– Patience

Advertisements