Ok, it’ll be a double post day, so I can start to describe what I’m gonna to try to do.   Here are a couple of the tools from “Positivity” that I’m working on:

Be open and present in the moment.

I’m not great at this, because I’m a planner, and I have a tendency to live in the future – whether with anticipation or worry.  I’m going to try to remember to practice this walking meditation I read about in Thich Nhat Hanh’s “Touching Peace”.  You just say, “I have arrived” with your breath occasionally, wherever you are and whatever you’re doing – in line at the grocery store, or waiting for the subway. It’s super simple, but for some reason it resonated with me.  It kind of reminds me to be more aware of where I am and to find something to appreciate – to look at or listen to – right then.

Develop distractions.

Thankfully, Fredrickson doesn’t pretend that you can get rid of your negative thoughts and emotions.  I’ve wanted to explode every time my husband has told me to “not worry” about something or that there wasn’t “any point” in thinking about it.  It’s not so fucking easy.  The worst is “relax”.  Pots and pans might start flying if he tells me to “relax” when I’m on progesterone.  The point is to busy your brain with something other than what’s making you miserable.  I think of it this way (sorry, it’s a baby reference):  with a baby or toddler, you can’t just take away their toy and expect them to not to cry, but you CAN distract them with a new toy.  I guess my brain is about as disciplined as a toddler’s, is what I’m saying.

Anyway, there are good distractions and bad distractions, of course.  So, I guess my unhealthy distractions would be obsessively researching infertility and IVF news online, browsing photos of people’s nurseries, drawing a ground plan for the furniture arrangement for my future nursery, making a powerpoint inspiration board for my future nursery decor, working on my stroller comparison spreadsheet, browsing for baby products to bookmark for future reference (notice a theme here?), and letting myself eat whatever I want because “my life sucks”.  But man, those distractions are SUPER seductive.

My Good Distractions:  Go for a walk, take a yoga class, read a book,  work on an art project, clean out or organize a drawer, cabinet, etc. (this works for me, especially if I’m anxious), listen to an audiobook (works when I’m too distracted or down to read), work on this positivity project and blog, meditate, garden (I just have some flowers on my porch, so the gardening is pretty limited), browse recipes and plan meals, cook, e-mail a friend, dance (usually just in my living room by myself), stretch, play music, and study (I’m studying for a teaching certification test).

So, now I just have to remember to do these things.  Why is it so hard?  Why do I just end up online for hours instead?  Of course, today I spent all day customizing my new blog.  Does that count as healthy or unhealthy?  Maybe a bit obsessive.  Oh well.

– Patience

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